The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain


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So he had no Kangaroo, and no 'possom, and no Gila monster, and no ornithorhynchus, and lacked a multitude of other indispensable blessings which a loving Creator had provided for man and forgotten about, they having long ago wandered to a side of this world which he had never seen and with whose affairs he was not acquainted.

And so everyone of them came within a hair of getting drowned. They only escaped by an accident. There was not water enough to go around.

Only enough was provided to flood one small corner of the globe -- the rest of the globe was not then known, and was supposed to be nonexistent. However, the thing that really and finally and definitely determined Noah to stop with enough species for purely business purposes and let the rest become extinct, was an incident of the last days: an excited stranger arrived with some most alarming news.

He said he had been camping among some mountains and valleys about six hundred miles away, and he had seen a wonderful thing there: he stood upon a precipice overlooking a wide valley, and up the valley he was a billowy black sea of strange animal life coming. Presently the creatures passed by, struggling, fighting, scrambling, screeching, snorting -- horrible vast masses of tumultuous flesh!

Life on the Mississippi (1980) - Mark Twain

Sloths as big as an elephant; frogs as big as a cow; a megatherium and his harem huge beyond belief; saurians and saurians and saurians, group after group, family after family, species after species -- a hundred feet long, thirty feet high, and twice as quarrelsome; one of them hit a perfectly blameless Durham bull a thump with its tail and sent it whizzing three hundred feet into the air and it fell at the man's feet with a sigh and was no more.

The man said that these prodigious animals had heard about the Ark and were coming. Coming to get saved from the flood. And not coming in pairs, they were all coming: they did not know the passengers were restricted to pairs, the man said, and wouldn't care a rap for the regulations, anyway -- they would sail in that Ark or know the reason why.

The man said the Ark would not hold the half of them; and moreover they were coming hungry, and would eat up everything there was, including the menagerie and the family.

The Art, Humor, and Humanity of Mark Twain

All these facts were suppressed, in the Biblical account. You find not a hint of them there. The whole thing is hushed up. Not even the names of those vast creatures are mentioned. It shows you that when people have left a reproachful vacancy in a contract they can be as shady about it in Bibles as elsewhere. Those powerful animals would be of inestimable value to man now, when transportation is so hard pressed and expensive, but they are all lost to him.


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All lost, and by Noah's fault. They all got drowned. Some of them as much as eight million years ago. Very well, the stranger told his tale, and Noah saw that he must get away before the monsters arrived. He would have sailed at once, but the upholsterers and decorators of the housefly's drawing room still had some finishing touches to put on, and that lost him a day. Another day was lost in getting the flies aboard, there being sixty-eight billions of them and the Deity still afraid there might not be enough. Another day was lost in stowing forty tons of selected filth for the flies' sustenance.

Then at last, Noah sailed; and none too soon, for the Ark was only just sinking out of sight on the horizon when the monsters arrived, and added their lamentations to those of the multitude of weeping fathers and mothers and frightened little children who were clinging to the wave-washed rocks in the pouring rain and lifting imploring prayers to an All-Just and All-Forgiving and All-Pitying Being who had never answered a prayer since those crags were builded, grain by grain, out of the sands, and would still not have answered one when the ages should have crumbled them to sand again.

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Satan's Letter. More information about this seller Contact this seller 1. Condition: Very Good. Tightly bound. Corners not bumped. Text is free of markings.

Short Stories: What Stumped the Bluejays by Mark Twain

Light foxing page edges. Owner's name on front paste down under dust jacket flap. More information about this seller Contact this seller 2. Published by University Of Oklahoma press About this Item: University Of Oklahoma press, Paintings and drawings by Robert Roche. Seller Inventory ABE More information about this seller Contact this seller 3. About this Item: This is a hard cover book with tan cloth covered boards. Black titling on spine. Dust jacket is unclipped. Color painting as frontispiece. Professional book dealer since All orders are processed promptly and packaged with the utmost care.

Satisfaction guaranteed. As New in Near Fine dust jacket. More information about this seller Contact this seller 4. Oklahoma Oklahoma, Dust Jacket Condition: Good. Some dust jacket wear. Same as later reprint. More information about this seller Contact this seller 5. Rodney, Robert M. From: G. Hard Cover. Roche, Robert illustrator. First Edition. DJ is worn at corners and edges and has a few small clean tears on back side - just good condition.

Book exterior is full mustard colored cloth with title on spine in black and white. Interior has a small gift inscription on front free endpaper, otherwise unmarked, tight and clean. More information about this seller Contact this seller 6. Published by University of Oklahoma, Norman, Okla. Neglible edge wear.


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  8. Pages are clean, no markings. More information about this seller Contact this seller 7. Published by University of Oklahoma Press, Norman Yellow Cloth. Condition: Nearly Fine. Dust Jacket Condition: Lightly Chipped. Evidence of circular price-tag removal from bottom of spine on dust jacket. Otherwise a nearly fine copy.

    A book full of word pictures created by Clemens to stimulate the mind of the reader to visualize a wide array of animals in his stories. Original paintings and drawings by Robert Roche. Size: Octavo. More information about this seller Contact this seller 8. Published by University of Oklahoma Press About this Item: University of Oklahoma Press, Condition: Good. Robert Roche illustrator. Satisfaction Guaranteed! Book is in Used-Good condition. Pages and cover are clean and intact.

    The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain
    The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain
    The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain
    The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain
    The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain
    The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain
    The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain
    The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain The Birds and Beasts of Mark Twain

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